Fox News – Nuke-happy North Korean tyrant Kim Jong Un might be the way he is because he suffers from ’roid rage, doctors say.

There’s widespread speculation “in the medical community that he has gout, and one of the treatments for gout is steroids,” Dr. Rock Positano of the Hospital for Special Surgery told me. “This fellow could be manifesting ’roid rage.”

Known as the disease of epicureans and kings because it is caused by a rich diet, gout is a buildup of uric acid in joints, particularly the feet, which causes acute pain “like a knife going through your toe,” Positano said.

Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon, da Vinci and Henry VIII all had gout in the pre-steroid era.


To be totally honest, I don’t think I’ve ever had a gout attack in my entire life. I feel like it falls under the same category as kidney stones, though. Like you definitely know if you’re experiencing one or the other. As for my limited knowledge of gout, basically all I know is it feels like somebody’s stabbing the shit out of your big toe. Doesn’t sound like a good time, if you ask me.

Well, according to everyone’s favorite internet doctor (aka WebMd), that stabbing sensation can occur for a rather long time:

The most common sign of gout is a nighttime attack of swelling, tenderness, redness, and sharp pain in your big toe. You can also get gout attacks in your foot, ankle, or knees, or other joints. The attacks can last a few days or many weeks before the pain goes away. Another attack may not happen for months or years.

A few days or many weeks?! Shit sounds like it can be brutal. Here’s another interesting tidbit I learned from Dr. World Wide Web:

What causes gout?

Gout is caused by too much uric acid in the blood. Most of the time, having too much uric acid isn’t harmful. Many people with high levels in their blood never get gout. But when uric acid levels in your blood are too high, the uric acid may form hard crystals in your joints.

Your chances of getting gout are higher if you are overweight, drink too much alcohol, or eat too much meat and fish that are high in chemicals called purines. Some medicines, such as water pills(diuretics), can also bring on gout.

Overweight?

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Check.

Drinks too much alcohol?

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Check.

Eats too much meat and fish?

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Check.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I think these docs might be onto something. So how should one be treating himself if he’s experiencing a gout episode, you ask?

How is it treated?

To stop a gout attack, your doctor can give you a shot of corticosteroids or prescribe a large daily dose of one or more medicines. The doses will get smaller as your symptoms go away. Relief from a gout attack often begins within 24 hours if you start treatment right away.

To ease the pain during a gout attack, rest the joint that hurts. Taking ibuprofen or another anti-inflammatory medicine can also help you feel better. But don’t take aspirin. It can make gout worse by raising the uric acid level in the blood.

Considering the fact it’s North Korea, the only logical explanation here is one of Jim Kong’s “doctors” read on the internet that corticosteroids help combat gout so he went out and prescribed him with an injectable form of steroids so now he has roid rage and wants to blow up the goddamn earth. Just a thought, but maybe if this fat fuck would eat a salad every now and then and lay off the booze a little we wouldn’t be on the verge of World War III. Idiot.