Pittsburgh Tribune-Review – It sure doesn’t look like anything you’d expect to find in the river.

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Pittsburgh District was asking people on its Facebook page Thursday morning to help identify a huge, long-nosed creature a fisherman caught in the Allegheny River near Lock and Dam 9 south of East Brady in Armstrong County.

“This fish looks like a prehistoric creature, but it was caught at Allegheny River Lock 9. Does anyone know what type of fish it is? If you do, name that fish.”

Fisherman Aaron Thompson posted pictures of himself with his catch on the Steel City Anglers Facebook group. According to his post, he caught it Tuesday morning.

“Allegheny lock #9 this morning!!! Super pumped!!!” Thompson said. He was using a picture of himself with the fish as the cover image for his own Facebook page.

Most of those commenting were saying that what he caught was a paddlefish.

“That is awesome, still some surprises in the river from time to time,” Brandon Berry said.

Asked what bait he had used, Thompson replied that paddlefish eat plankton and that it was a “completely accidental catch.” He said it took about 20 minutes to bring in, and that he released it “without harm.”

American paddlefish are an endangered and protected species.

“I tell people all the time that picture is all you need,” Thompson said.

A representative of the state Fish and Boat Commission could not immediately be reached for comment.

Kill it! End it’s life! I literally have no idea what the fuck that thing is, but it’s safe to say I’ll never be swimming in water around Pittsburgh ever again for the rest of my life. Oh sure, paddlefish only eat plankton. Yeah, but what about when that fucker swims full speed and stabs you to death like you’re in some kind of Final Destination movie. Fuck that. I’m out, cuz. Never again.

P.S. – Here’s a fun fact I didn’t mention: Never in my life have I ever swam in one of Pittsburgh’s rivers because they’re essentially shit water. Seriously, I’m not making that up. They are.

But this thing?

1,000% No.