Let’s face it, folks. There are a ton of SHITTY things about life. And as I get older, the more I realize it. Your body changes (for the worse), people you love die, and you gain more responsibilities. And on top of all that, you have less time to do fun stuff like sit back on the couch like a lazy piece of shit and enjoy a good old fashioned game of sportz. Doesn’t matter what it is, either. Football, baseball, basketball (kind of), hockey, golf, darts, etc. They’re all great. You get to escape the world for a few hours and watch freaks run around and do awesome things you can only dream of doing – like hitting a home run 500 goddamn feet. Pretty cool, right? So naturally, when sports aren’t on the TV, that escape’s gone. And life sucks for longer (unless you happen to young, famous, and rich as fuck like Justin Bieber).
Without further ado, here are the top 5 shittiest days in sports:
5. Basically any day in August except for summer Olympics years.
The entire month of August is a pretty shitty sports month in general. Sure, there’s baseball going on, there’s the PGA Championship, there’s the U.S. Open of Tennis (gag), and there are NFL preseason games. But if we’re being totally honest with ourselves, all of these events stink. No one gives a shit about baseball until September, the PGA Championship is like the red-headed stepchild of golf majors, tennis is stupid, and NFL preseason games are cool for about five minutes. Plus you get that whole back-to-school feeling even when you’re an adult and have been out of school for over five years. It’s just not a good month in general.
4. Christmas day when it doesn’t fall on a Sunday or Monday.
Christmas day in general – good. Christmas day as far as sports go – shitty. As you can probably tell, I’m not a real big NBA guy. But I still don’t get what all the hype is about Christmas day basketball, either. The Cavs and Warriors can literally play on Christmas Day for eternity and it doesn’t mean shit to me. And believe me, I get why ABC does it. It’s a great excuse for us to not talk to the relatives we hate for a few hours every Christmas evening. But here’s the problem – it’s still a shitty regular season game that’s four months prior to the playoffs even starting. Lame!
3. The Sunday before Super Bowl Sunday.
Would you rather watch the Pro Bowl or give yourself CTE by smashing your own head into a wall? I’m going with the latter. Bye weeks stink in general. But when EVERY team in the NFL is on a bye week at the same time – HORRIBLE. Plus it’s cold as fuck.
2. The day after the Super Bowl.
I literally debated whether or not this day should’ve been number #1 on the list, but then I wasted about five minutes thinking about it and said fuck it. The day after the Super Bowl is AAAAAAWWWWWWFUL. Seriously, this days needs to be a holiday. No one’s productive, it’s cold as fuck, and everyone’s miserable because football season is over. Nobody wins here.
1. The day after the MLB All-Star Game.
You wanna know something? Today has sucked so far for me. I had to get up at 6:30, commute an hour to work, get my dick knocked into the dirt at work, bitch at Comcast for 15 minutes for like the 40th day in a row, take another hour long commute back home, and now there aren’t any goddamn sports on TV tonight. Sure, there’s the Espy’s. But who gives a fuck about the Espy’s, AMRIGHT? Now, I’m gonna go work out (real fun), cook dinner, and call it a night. Sad!