Fox News – Given that the price of avocados has skyrocketed in recent months, it no wonder a few criminals in California started dealing in black-market avocados.
Three workers at the Mission Produce ripening facility in Oxnard, Calif. have been arrested and charged with grand theft of up to $300,000 worth of avocados, says the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office.
The men — 28-year-old Joseph Valenzuela, 30-year-old Rahim Leblanc and 28-year-old Carlos Chavez — had reportedly been conducting unauthorized cash sales from the facility itself, perhaps for several months.
According to the Los Angeles Times, Mission Produce recently began delivering avocados to its customers — rather than having customers pick them up — but some clients continued to show up at the facility for their shipments. Seeing an opportunity to make a few quick bucks, the thieves simply continued to conduct the transactions and pocketed the cash, says Mission Produce president Steve Barnard.
Barnard believes they were offering the avocados at a discounted rate of $20 or $30 per box, when they normally go for around $50. All total, the company estimates its losses at about $300,000.
Barnard says surveillance footage confirmed his suspicions. The men were arrested by the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office on Wednesday.
“We take these kinds of thefts seriously,” Sgt. John Franchi told the Los Angeles Times. “It’s a big product here and in California.”
Valenzuela, Leblanc and Chavez are being held in jail on bail of $250,000 each.
Throughout my first 27 years on the planet, I’ve come to the realization that there are few things in life that your parents/the school system do/does a shitty in job in preparing you for. For me, those things can basically be narrowed down to the following:
- Becoming a responsible adult is HIGHLY overrated.
- An undergraduate degree is useless.
- The price of guac at Chipotle is fucking ABSURD.
Sticking with that last bullet point, come the fuck on Chipotle. $1.80 for a little goddamn scoop of guac? You kidding me?! Look, I’m the type of person that complains about this every time I walk into a Chipotle, yet I still ask for guac all over my burrito bowl because I’m an asshole. But still. A motherfucking dollar eighty?! That’s a flat out CRIME! And the problem is, we’re all too stupid to see that because we ALL order it anyways.
You: “I’ll have sour cream, cheese, lettuce, and guac.”
Server: “Guac’s extra. Is that okay.”
(In Your Head) You: “Yeah, motherfucker I said I want guac.”
(Real) You: “That’s fine.”
The guac struggle is real, my friend. I literally have no idea why avocados are so damn expensive (probably because they go bad in like 13 hours), but nothing makes more sense to me right now at this moment than learning that there human beings out there jumping into the guac game to make a few extra bucks. And by extra, I mean a fuckton of money. Move over booger sugar, there’s a new king in town. And that king’s the goddamn avocado. These guys might’ve been a little too dumb to realize how obvious it was they were stealing HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, but I wouldn’t be all too surprised to see more of this type of action go down in the future. Because if the price of guac at Chipotle is going to continue to be two George Washington’s, there’s lots of money to be made in the black market avocado biz.