In a tale as old as time (or at least since the Zuck invented the old Facebook), there’s been a much heated debated amongst those who regularly engage in the use of social media. Who’s the bigger asshole – the marathon runner or the crossfitter? In order to get to the bottom of this puzzling dilemma once and for all, I asked my Facebook friends for their input. I thought it would be a fun way to get some feedback from both parties involved, especially marathon runners considering I happen to be on Team CrossFit. And what better day to ask this question than on Pittsburgh Marathon day?

Hint: Marathon runners were not pleased with my observation that they’re also assholes.


Note: I blurred out everyone’s names (including my own because of that whole I don’t want to get fired from my full-time job thing).



True story – I have a chainsmoking buddy who’s completely out of shape. A couple years ago he decided on a whim he was going to run a half marathon without any training. He held to his word, showed up on race day, and ran 13 miles with a hole in one of his shoes. This girl can pound sand. Also, the same can be said for the five people who liked this comment.


This was simple and straight to the point. #Respect that.


Sounds like a challenge!


No, we can’t. We should call people out when they’re being assholes.



What I neglected to point out with the screenshots I shared above was the fact that the overwhelming amount of people that responded to my question concluded that crossfitters are way worse. It’s tough to disagree with the numbers. Crossfit is a 24/7 lifestyle so the social media posts are an out of control daily experience. Marathon runners, on the other hand, are a cyclical bunch of assholes. They only show up a few weeks out of the year to annoy you kind of like those asshole cicadas that come out of the earth (which I may or may not be completely wrong about). So who’s worse?

Verdict: Crossfitters. However, marathon runners seem a little soft if you ask me. I had a bunch of my crossfit friends chime in to let me know we are worse human beings on social media. Marathon runners, on the other hand, acted all butthurt about my observation. Not even one response from a marathon runner with a little self deprecating humor. Sad. And oh yeah, running for hours on end fucking stinks.