Being a Penguin fan has it’s perks. We watch some of the best players in the world like Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Phil Kessel (to name a few) play on the same team. We make the playoffs every year. We get to watch Lord Stanley’s Cup get chauffeured down the Boulevard of the Allies on parade day every so often. We raise banners in the rafters of  Consol Energy Center PPG Paint Arena. And on, and on, and on. It truly is exhilarating. It’s too bad other people can’t experience the same joys as us, but I guess that’s just a fact of life when you’re a hockey fan and you don’t call Pittsburgh home. Sad.

But it’s not always all unicorns and Stanley Cups in Pittsburgh. Take right now, for instance. Matt Niskanen may have potentially ruined our June because he had to be an asshole and cross-check Sidney Crosby directly in the skull while he was falling down to the ice after being viciously slashed by Alexander Ovechkin. Now Sid has another concussion and god knows when he’s going to return. I’d say our chances of repeating have severely diminished, and that’s very concerning to us. Then again, Sid could come back in a week or two (after we beat the Caps, of course), and it would probably be all Kumbayas after that. But as for now, we don’t know if we’re going to be taking the Stanley Cup with us this fall to visit Trump. It’s a sad state of affairs in the Burgh right now, and I feel like other hockey fans should have some sympathy for us.