Let’s not kid ourselves here, the Pens got outplayed by the Caps last night. There’s no denying that. Getting outshot 35-21 and outhit 41-17 ain’t exactly good. But you know what is? When the best player in the world dominates for 52 seconds to make up for the fact that the the rest of his team (minus Fleury) played like hot pile of garbage. Before the Rock the Red assholes could even get to their seats to enjoy the start of the 2nd period, Sidney Crosby found the back of the net twice.

The Pens and Caps are so deep nowadays that the story line doesn’t have to be all about Sid vs. Ovi anymore, but last night was exactly that. With the Pens still leading 2-0 late in the 2nd, John Carlson nearly ended Evgeni Malkin’s life as he tried to enter the offense zone. What soon followed was a vintage missile off of the stick of Alexander Ovechkin past Marc Andre Fleury to cut the Pens’ lead in half.

The Capitals would go on to tie the game eight minutes into the 3rd as Matt Niskanen delivered a beautiful cross-ice pass to Evgeni Kuznetsov who was sitting right on the doorstep. Let’s face it, it was a goal that your average beer-leaguer would’ve buried, but you wouldn’t have known that if all you caught was this Grade A asshole celebration afterwards:

Seriously, this is the same fucking guy that goes from a career average of .70 PPG in the regular season to a .433 PPG player in the playoffs. Maybe pick up your play a little more when it counts before you start pimping tap in goals like you’re fucking Theo Fleury, bud. Just a thought. Kuznetsov’s an absolute joke of a human being. If the Pens would’ve gone on to lose this game I’d probably be 10x more pissed about this incident, but thankfully Nick Bonino came down from the clouds again to ultimately ruin the Capitals’ evening for the second consecutive playoff game between the two teams.

Bonino’s goal was followed by seven and a half minutes of butt-clenching hockey, including this insane scrum in front of the net.

But the Pens prevailed, and that’s what good hockey teams do. They win games even when they get outplayed. It’s great to know that the Pens will come out of D.C. with at least one W, but I can’t imagine them playing any worse than they did last night. With Sully’s adjustments and a potential Carl Hagelin return tomorrow night, this series might quickly turn into freak the fuck out mode sooner than later for the Caps this postseason.