Buckle up, bitches. It’s that time of the year for the Penguins to break the hearts of every hockey fan in D.C.


I know I’m probably a sick son of a bitch for this, but there aren’t many fulfillments in life more enjoyable than watching the Penguins knock the Capitals out of the playoffs. And it’s the same story each time it happens: the Capitals come into the playoffs as the top-seeded favorites, people start spewing bullshit about how this is finally going to be the year they get over the hump, and then Sidney Crosby and company end their lives. It’s pure bliss if you’re a Penguin fan. And if you’re a Capitals fan, well, you probably go into a perpetual dark depression.

This year’s bloodbath begins Thursday night in D.C.

P.S. – Stay tuned this week for the series preview and lots of other tomfoolery. Also, feel free to send this video to a Capitals fan so they piss themselves a little.