Yeah, yeah, I realize this blog’s a day late, but sometimes blog life ain’t easy. Sometimes you just gotta go HAM on a weekend bowling trip with friends and drink at a dive bar both nights until 2:00 in the morning instead of ruling trying to make a dent in the blogosphere. Next thing you know, you end up back in the office at your full-time job on a Monday morning feeling like a piece of dog shit will your brain functions at an all-time low. I realize the excuses are flying right now, but it’s literally been almost 48 hours since my last drink and I’m just now starting to feel like an actual human being again. So sorry for the lack of blogs in the past couple days. Yours truly promises not to be a degenerate for at least the next 96 hours.

Anyways, while I was probably trying to get my tongue to stop sticking from the roof of my mouth yesterday morning, shots were fired by Sidney Crosby. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the greatest burn in the history of burns, but for Sidney Crosby, this qualifies as a straight up incineration. For those of you that don’t follow Sidney Crosby too closely, it’s basically a proven fact that the man is actually a robot. It’s kind of a good and bad thing, too. Like, yeah he’s really good at hockey and he helps the Penguins win Stanley Cups, but he also probably gives the worst interviews of all-time. Seriously, if you’re having trouble going to sleep, go search for a Sidney Crosby interview somewhere on YouTube. If listening to a man answer every single question without actually answering a question in a very mundane way doesn’t knock your ass out, then perhaps you have a serious problem. So if you happen to get a quote out of him like this is like hitting the jackpot if you’re a sports journalist covering the Penguins. I can only imagine the journos walking out of that locker room yesterday morning feeling like motherfucking bosses knowing they were able to get Sidney Crosby to forget he’s a human being for about 30 seconds. It’s just that rare of a moment.

And while I’m pretty amped up to hear Sid put Eugene Melnyk in his place with actual words, it was nice to see former NHLer Mike Johnson be the one to ultimately put this dumbass in a bodybag.