What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you wake up on St. Patrick’s Day? Maybe you get all fired up to sport that new green shirt that you somehow haven’t worn in the last six months because, you know, who in the fuck wears green on the regular? Or maybe you’re racing out of bed at 7:00 am for kegs and eggs because, let’s face it, St. Paddy’s is a perfectly valid excuse to be a degenerate drunk all day long, am I right?

Well, not me, my friends. Not me!

My St. Patrick’s Day happens to go something like this: I wake up to the piercing sound of my alarm, hit the snooze probably 2-3 times (assuming it’s a weekday), then continue laying in bed pondering why in the hell anyone in the world needs to be up at 6 fucking 30 in the morning. Then, I ALWAYS forget to wear green. It never fails. Then, I proceed to go about my day at work while every asshole in the office seems to constantly remind me that I’m, too, an asshole because I’m not wearing green. It’s at that very moment, ladies and gents, I’m reminded why an Italian American like me can have a little fun on St. Paddy’s as well. Sure, maybe I’ll throw back a few cold ones, but you know what really gets my engine revved up? A little Leprechaun In Tha Hood action.

If you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about, you might as well stop reading this blog right now and hop On-Demand to put this movie on your TV screen immediately. Seriously. Never has a horror film been such comedy gold like Leprechaun in the Hood. If you can’t get down with watching Warwick Davis dressed up like a god damn Leprechaun walking around the hood smoking weed, rhyming all his sentences, and killing gangsters (like Ice-T!) for stealing his gold, then you’re a humorless soul. Chances are you probably hate puppies, children, and old people as well. I’ll defend this movie til the day I die because it’s one of the only movies I used to make my mom drive me to Blockbuster for on the regular when I was like 11 years old. It’s that fucking funny. And the sad part is, I can still watch it every St. Patrick’s Day for the rest of my life and laugh just as hard like it’s my first time watching it.