Ciara and Russell Wilson are easily becoming the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of this new generation of celebrity power couples. Except for one minor detail: these two assholes are way more famous and richer than Heidi and Spencer ever were.

The Wilson’s are currently reaching absurd levels of being annoying. Last week, we had probably the most ridiculous pregnancy picture of all-time.


Like what the fuck is that even? This looks like some shit you would see on the cover of a sci-fi film. Russ wrapping his hands around baby Wilson while baby Future lays naked on top of the baby bump and smashes his, you know, into Ciara’s bare chest. Easily one of the grossest pictures the internet’s ever seen. If this doesn’t scream attention, then I’m not really sure what does.

Fast forward to this past weekend. What could’ve been a casual little ice cream date turned into a paparazzi-seeking photo op. Ciara and Russ showed up in Hollywood, knowing full well that photos would be taken of them, wearing matching navy blue shirts, white shorts, and similar style aviator sunglasses.


Coordinating matching outfits with your significant other is one of the most absurd things to do in life. These two are so caught up in their own bullshit that they’ve completely lost their sense of reality. This is NOT how normal couples operate. Ciara and Russell Wilson are either the most oblivious humans on planet earth or playing us all with some sort of sick joke. And I tend to think it’s the former.

P.S.- I have a sick feeling that we’ll be seeing a bunch of social media couples’ workouts between these two after baby Wilson arrives. Lord help us all.