CBS Pittsburgh – PETA has sent a letter to the NHL asking them to ban the use of live animals at hockey games.

The letter is addressed to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and says: “On behalf of PETA and our more than 5 million members and supporters worldwide, [we] urge you to institute a policy against allowing animals at NHL games and events.”

The letter is in response to last week’s controversy over an appearance by some live penguins, from the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium, on the ice at Heinz Field before the Stadium Series game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers on Feb. 25.

PETA claims the penguins were frightened when some pre-game fireworks went off in the stadium.

But Pittsburgh Zoo officials said the fireworks only “temporarily startled” the penguins. They went on to say the animals also participate in their “Penguins on Parade” event at the zoo, and are “very comfortable around people and noises.”

The letter from PETA ends by asking: “May we please hear that the NHL will implement a policy against having animals at its games and events? ”

I’m starting to feel like a villain today. First vegans, now PETA. I’m pretty sure a lot of people probably think I’m an asshole by now. And those people aren’t totally wrong about that. It’s true, I am an asshole, but I’m going to call out bullshit when I smell it.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and act like I know what the hell I’m talking about when it comes to all things PETA. All I know is that they tend to lose their shit anytime an animal is involved in anything that remotely captures the attention of the general public (R.I.P. Harambe). To me, they’re basically feminists, but instead of fighting for women’s rights, they’re bitching about innocent little gestures like when the NHL decides to bring live penguins to a sporting event where the Pittsburgh Penguins are playing. Seems innocent, right? Well, not to the animal loving PC brigade!

PETA basically saw this clip above and found their opportunity to strike. I get it. The penguins were startled. However, these assholes will never admit that actual human beings would have a similar reaction had they not known fireworks were about to shoot behind them. Quick funny story – when I was like five years old I balled my eyes out like a little bitch during a 4th of July fireworks show with my parents because I was afraid of the loud explosions. I wasn’t used to the foreign sounds either. But you know what, I didn’t need an organization full of tree huggers to defend me from the emotional trauma. I got over it the moment the fireworks stopped (and it has made for a funny blackmail story ever since). The same thing happened with these penguins. The moment the explosions stopped, they went back to normal.

I also don’t want to forget to mention the best part of this story. As soon as PETA saw this they immediately attacked the Pittsburgh Penguins organization. That would be just a subtle little fuck up by PETA considering the NHL were the ones actually responsible for the Stadium Series event at Heinz Field. Solid research by PETA to attack the Penguins just because, you know, their nickname is the Penguins. If they would’ve known this, they wouldn’t have fired off a second letter to the league office. I’m no Gary Bettman fan, but if the guy has any nads in his pants, now would be a good time to pen a letter back to PETA asking them to kindly go fuck themselves.