Today, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau paid a visit to the White House to speak with President Trump about a couple of issues including women in the workplace and trade in North America. While women in the workplace is an important topic of discussion, all eyes were definitely on NAFTA today.
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past year and a half, Trump’s been bashing the concept of free trade ever since he announced he was running for President in 2015. Trudeau, on the other hand, is a liberal who believes in free trade. Politics aside, this was not the real reason most dipshits like me tuned in to watch their press conference today. We aren’t concerned about trade agreements and other important stuff like that. Idiots like me tuned in to witness what type of handshake Trump would lay on the young leader from up north. Was Trump gonna go all soft and give a normal handshake to Trudeau like a man that’s now having second thoughts about restructuring NAFTA? Or was he gonna go all in with his usual over-the-top, my dick’s bigger than yours, I’m gonna stick with my god damn word type of handshake we’re now all so accustomed to seeing?
As a teaser to the video of the first Trudeau, Trump handshake, check out the absurd video below of Trump shaking Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s hand last Friday.
That looked like the most agonizing 18 seconds of Abe’s life. The look of relief on his face at the end is pure gold. I’m not sure what the funniest part of the Trump handshake is – the bear claw grip, the hand patting, or the yank when you’re least expecting it. Such a demoralizing position to be the receiver of a Trump handshake when you’re, too, a big swinging dick world leader.
And this handshake thing ain’t a new schtick either:
Now, to the big moment we were all waiting for today:
Gotta be honest. WHAT. A. LETDOWN. There’s no doubt in my mind Trudeau watched YouTube clips of Trump’s handshakes before he flew down to D.C. today. I’m 100% convinced this was a man that did his research. From the picture above, my first thought was Trudeau’s thinking he’s about to take a giant L for all of North America to see. He looked to me like a man all but ready to have his labrum torn completely off of his shoulder. Instead, that sly motherfucker was prepared all along. I’m honestly kind of impressed with Trudeau. If that isn’t enough evidence to tell me Trudeau isn’t going to be a pushover to Trump, then what is? Or maybe Trump’s just getting a little soft on his stance on NAFTA? All I know is that I wasted 20 minutes of my day at work today just to get a glimpse of this handshake, and it did not live up to my expectations.