Unless you’re an Arizona Cardinals fan, a crackhead fantasy football addict like myself, or just a huge NFL fan in general, you probably don’t get to see David Johnson play on a regular basis. Other than Larry Fitzgerald this year, David Johnson was probably the only other player with a pulse on Arizona’s offense.
While everyone’s talking about Zeke Elliott and my boy “Juice” (aka Le’Veon Bell), David Johnson might very well be the best running back in the NFL right now. He finished the season 1st in the NFL with 2,118 all-purpose yeads, 7th among running backs with 1,239 rushing yards, 2nd in rushing touchdowns with 16 (including 4 receiving touchdowns), and averaged a respectable 4.2 yards per carry. Though, most impressively, he set an NFL record in 2016 with at least 100 yards from scrimmage in each of his first 15 games.
Sadly, Johnson’s streak came to an end when he sprained his MCL in his left knee during the 1st quarter against the Rams in week 17. A day after the injury, Cardinals coach Bruce Arians announced in a press conference that Johnson was likely to be out of commission for six to eight weeks. Today, Johnson posted a video of himself “rehabbing” in the pool:
My first initial thought was “fuck this guy.” Sure we’ve all seen videos of freakish athletes jumping out of pools on the internet before. To be honest, these videos are kind of getting played out. But what kind of person that goes down with a somewhat serious knee injury, then jumps out of a pool in less than six weeks?! Answer: a motherfucking FREAK. I can’t even do that shit perfectly healthy. In fact, I like to fancy myself as a pretty athletic guy, but I’d need like five years of specifically training how to jump out of a pool before actually getting close to jumping out of a pool. On second thought, I still probably wouldn’t be able to do it. And what’s with these guys like David Johnson and Adrian Peterson coming back from knee injuries in like half the time than the rest of the population rehabbing knee injuries? I tore my ACL like six years ago, and I still feel like I’m at about like 80%. These guys are either low-key using HGH or they have the fucking genes of Zues. Yeah, yeah, they spend more time in rehab than everyone else and blah, blah, blah. Well, way to make us all feel like uncoordinated schmucks, David Johnson!
P.S. – I’m so not ready for all the NFL offseason workout videos that are going to be blowing up social media in the near future. Unlike your annoying friends that blow up your Instagram feed with videos of themselves at CrossFit, these videos of professional athletes working out legitimately make me feel depressed about my athletic ability.