TMZ – Tom Brady is an apostrophe abuser.

Here’s Tom at Super Bowl practice on Thursday rocking one of those QB wristbands — complete with what we believe to be some throwing motion notes.

We don’t really know what “Light Light G.P.” means … but we DO know Tom didn’t have to put apostrophes in “toes” and “knees.”

Then again, who are we to talk … 

#dailydashabuse #alsoellipsesabuse #sorry



Shout out to good ol’ TMZ for giving the rest of us Americans outside of the New England area a valid reason to make fun of Tom Brady. As I’m sure most of you are aware, it’s super hard to make fun of a guy like Tom Brady when he possesses a resume that includes the following items:

  • Probably the best QB of all-time
  • 4-time Super Bowl champion, including 3-time Super Bowl MVP (these both will most likely need to be updated after Sunday night)
  • 2-time regular season MVP
  • A bunch of QB records I’m too lazy to look up
  • Makes a fuckton of money (i.e. $20 million/year not including bonuses, incentives, endorsements, etc.)
  • Bangs a supermodel wife (who makes even more money than him!)
  • Lives in a $20 million house
  • Is handsome af
  • Has a personal chef that fuels him like he’s a god damn Ferrari
  • Probably would’ve been a professional baseball player if the whole professional football gig didn’t pan out

I’m sure most of you feel the same way when I say Tom is a very HATEABLE person. The fucking guy has it all, and he’s awesome at everything he does. His life is so perfect it’s sickening. You can literally get depressed reading about his good fortunes. Hell, I might even need to call up my doctor to prescribe me some Prozac after writing that list above. I’m starting to feel worthless now. What the fuck, Tommy? Share some of the wealth!

Normally, if this was any other football player that made these types of grammatical mistakes I wouldn’t think twice about it. Most football players are absolute bird brains that have made their way through the education system by cheating and relying on assistance from tutors. So I’m not fazed by this type of idiocy. However, if you’re name is TOM FUCKING BRADY, and you make this type of silly mistake, I’m going to write a blog post to drop you down (or at least attempt to) a notch from the current Greek God status you’ve attained. I’m no genius (as you can tell by the fact that I write blogs), but if you’re making this mistake past like 5th grade, you’re a fucking idiot. Plural words that do not encompass possession of anything do not require apostrophes, you DUMMY! Too bad you don’t have like 300 other things going for you or else your dumbass self would be waiting in the unemployment line. Here’s a million dollar idea – maybe you should use some of that cash you have to hire a personal assistant to write your notes for you. That way I wouldn’t realize how big of a fucking moron you are, and I’d continue on with my life just being totally jealous of you.