Short answer: Fuck no.

Long Answer: There is not a chance in hell that Pitt could’ve beaten Alabama this year. I’m not going to get into all kinds of stats to bore the hell out of you, but Alabama had probably one of the best defenses in the entire history of their program this year. One stat; however, almost blew my dick off – Alabama’s defense didn’t give up a single touchdown to any of their four opponents in the month of November. Not. One. Single. Touchdown. I don’t give a shit if they played somebody like Northwestern Tennessee State four times during that streak. That has to be one of the most impressive defensive streaks in FBS history. And these opponents weren’t slouches, either. These teams included Mississippi State, Chattanooga (okay, who the fuck are they?), Auburn, and LSU. If I’m being totally honest with myself, I can see Pitt getting their asses kicked by all of these teams as well (even Chattanooga).

Now let’s move onto Pitt. Pitt had probably one of the best offenses in the entire FBS this past year. In fact, when a team can put up 42 and 43 points against Penn State and Clemson, respectively, you know that offense can ball. Pitt did just that. And somehow, some way, their defense figured out how to contain each of those teams to less than those point totals. Honestly, those were two of the biggest wins in the past 10 years or so for the program (shoutout 13-9 over WVU in 2007). On the contrary, Pitt’s defense was probably the biggest shit storm I’ve ever seen in my life. Their secondary looked like the second string defense of my high school football team. They were fucking BRUTAL. Seriously, any team that gives up 61 points to Syracuse should have to do suicide sprints after the game for like three hours. Pitt could’ve played Alabama 100 times, and they’d maybe get close to eking out a W in one of those 100 games. When your defense is that bad and you have to play a shootout style to win, you’re going to get absolutely crushed when the other team dictates a defensive style of game. Plain and simple. Alabama would’ve beaten Pitt 72-14.

With that said, this doesn’t mean that it didn’t put a little extra hop in my step today watching Clemson beat Alabama last night. In fact, I’m such a defensive asshole when it comes to my alma mater that I’ll argue with anyone about how this means that Pitt could’ve been Natty Champs this year (even though I know what I’m arguing is 1,000% bullshit). This year has been the first year in maybe 12 years that I was proud to be a Pitt football fan. I know. I know. They got whooped by Northwestern in their bowl game and had four other losses this year, but today I walked around for a few hours like Mandingo. That’s because my team was the only team to beat the champs this year. Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it?